Ecclesiastes

"Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. What profit has a man from all his labor in which he toils under the sun? One generation passes away, and another generation comes; but the earth abides forever." - Ecclesiastes 1:2-4

"I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind." - Ecclesiastes 1:14

I have spent a large amount of time feeling unfulfilled throughout my life. Professionally, where I thought I would be at 15, isn't who I am at 29. I have worked hard, and materially, I have very little to show for it. I don't own a house. I don't own a cool car. My savings account has about 14 dollars in it, and I work serving tables to ungracious assholes who talk down to me.

At this moment, it would be easy to get caught up in the "When I (fill in the blank), I will be happy" mentality. But this is foolishness.

King Solomon (who is the author of Ecclesiastes) was the wisest, richest king to have ever lived. He had 300 wives, 700 concubines, limitless amounts of entertainers,and limitless amounts of money.  He spent his life trying to find meaning. He said that whatever his heart desired, he indulged in. He built private parks, palaces, etc. His life was the ultimate picture of "living the dream", but he found it all meaningless.
 It was meaningless to him because he knew that one day he would die, and everything that he worked for would be passed on to another.

He knew that everything that he had done, had been done before. Nothing was new. Despite all his greatness, he found only despair. Every step he took, took him closer to the realization that this life is temporary. This life is here today and gone tomorrow. 

Everything in this life is a shadow of the life that we will live. Find your life unfulfilled? That's great! Because this life was never meant to fulfill. Everything in and of itself is meaningless  because we try to find meaning in temporary things that were meant to point us to something greater. Everything in life was meant to point to a creator who isn't temporary. Everything in life was meant to point to something that transcends this reality. Everything from the relationships we have, to the sunsets we watch was meant to be a shadow of something amazing, or more accurately someone.

The problem is that we get caught up in worshiping creation. We see  money, a great relationship, or the next goal accomplished as the golden ticket to fulfillment, when it was only meant to foreshadow the thing that will ultimately give us fulfillment. This only causes disappointment. Once we accomplish these things, there is always something more. The one who loves money, never has enough. The one who is in love with the "in-love" feeling jumps from relationship to relationship telling him or herself that the next one will be real, true, and fulfilling. These people lack wisdom and they will never find what they are looking for because it can only be found in Christ who is the fulfill-er of these desires.

Romans says that our unbelief is without excuse because his attributes are clearly seen in the things created. I would encourage you to take a look around and search for the God which all of creation points to. Look inside yourself and see if there is void that you have been unable to fill thus far. If the wisest, richest king who has ever lived couldn't find fulfillment in wealth and success, what makes you so confident that you can?

James 2:13

                                             Mercy triumphs over judgment - James 2:13

Pride is a powerful mask. Though it fits perfectly on our face, it lacks all functionality. It is a mask that is blinding. It is a mask that I choose to wear daily. It is so deeply rooted in us, often times, we don't even recognize it as pride. It hides in a little corner surrounded by false humility.

I often stand in awe, that Christ uses prideful, angry, bitter people like me. This is not ploy to seduce encouraging words from you, it is simply a recognition of my own depravity. But recognizing ones own depravity is only half the picture. Christ has make things right. He saw a young man like me, rolling around in sin, and decided that he was worth the cost. The price was death on a cross. Now I have taken on the righteousness of Christ, not because I uphold some moral standard, but because Christ has paid the price for me. Because mercy triumphs over judgment, every time.

The other day I was driving to the supermarket. On the curb, there were two homeless men holding signs. I pictured myself running them over. I was filled with anger because in my blind perspective, these men were begging despite an ability to work, but in that same moment, the above verse came to mind.

I try not to be the person who liberally uses the phrase "God told me", but there are a few times in my life that I feel pretty confident that the Holy Spirit spoke to me. This was one of them. What I find the most interesting, is that in that moment, nothing circumstantially changed. I didn't get out of my truck and give them money, or share the gospel, or even smile at them. But there was a major paradigm shift that day. I realized that I am no better then they are. Nothing in me, has any more intrinsic value then they do. It is simply mercy triumphing over judgement, in my life, and in theirs.

Often times as Christians we get caught up in preaching morality. We push our political and moral views on people with a well intentioned although misguided attempt to show them the error of their ways. But we have two choices, we can either give people our hope, or we can give people our morality. We can share politics, or we can share the Gospel. We can spread hate, or we can spread love. One shows people a God who gives hope, and purpose, the other brings condemnation and bitterness.

In the end, there is one thing we need to remember, that is, mercy triumphs over judgment, every time.

Unmeasurable Worth

Earlier today I was pulling weeds from my garden. My plants seem to grow a tremendous amount every day. It amazes me to think that such a large plant, that yields an amazing amount of  vegetables all started from a seed. A seed that died, then sprouted, then grew producing tomatoes, peppers, etc.
Our society is one that loves to measure worth. Whether its capital gains, popularity, Facebook likes, and so on, we measure success by the numbers.
 God on the other hand, plants seeds. Tiny little seeds that by themselves, appear useless. But they sprout into something  beautiful. Then they grow into something that produces fruit and vegetables that sustain billions of hungry people.
As Christians, we often measure our lives in the same way as the rest of the world. How many people have you brought to your church? How many people have you shared the gospel with? How much money have you given? How much? How much? How much?
But what if God uses us the same way that he uses a gardener? What if we plant little seeds that we can never measure? What if that seed someday produces a crop far greater then you could ever imagine? What if, in this life, you will never witness this crop? What if God wants you to be content with how he is using you today, even though it appears to be small?
What if god wants you to just love the person at the counter, love the guy at the gas station, or smile at the child at the bank? What if the small things, eventually yield a fruit that is more amazing then anything we can physically measure? What if God has our lives figured out in the midst of chaos?
Its easy to get caught up in numbers and measure success by them, but I would encourage you to seek Christ, to give up, and see how he uses us when we cease to strive for greatness.

Often Percieved As Mundane

While rolling into the end of January I have been thinking a lot about life. More specifically what it means to actually be alive in this strange life that we share. I get caught up in the here and now's. I get so wrapped up in being a father, and a husband who is trying to scramble enough money to provide the necessities for my family, I often forget that these things are temporary.
The stress of life can be very consuming at times. I often forget to take a few moments out of my day to thank God for the blessing that I have in my life. I forget that I serve a God with things that have eternal value. I often forget that what I do now, has eternal value.
Since I lost my job last June, I have been working in the service industry. Right now, I am working at my friends restaurant 'The Bistro' as a server. I really like it, but it is hard work and it gets really stressful at times.
 I get depressed because waiting tables isn't something that I find a lot of value in. When I worked at the Juvenile Center, it was easy to see purpose there. Until it closed down, I didn't realize how much identity I found in that job. People would ask me what I did for a living and they would be impressed by my answer.
Nobody is impressed with a 29 year old waiter, but that isn't my point. The point is that I serve a God who is sovereign. I serve a God who's hand was in me getting a job as a counselor and a God who's hand is in me getting a Job waiting tables.
When I really think about my life, I have incredible opportunities to share the love of Christ with people. Not in word, but in deed. Serving others and counting them greater then myself is what Christ asks of us. I get to do that everyday. Its actually a pretty great experience. It is a humbling experience and it is an experience that God has placed me in.
Our identity is not found in our job, our talents, our friends, or our hobbies, it is found in Christ. Tomorrow when I go back to work, I will try to remember that Christ's love lives through us as we fulfill our often perceived mundane tasks, but they are not mundane, they have value that transcends into eternity because Christ love is shown through the simple elements of our lives.

A New, New Year's Resolution

Until now, I have never really liked the idea of a New Year's resolution. I have always had the mindset that one should work to better themselves throughout the whole year. But the more I think about it, the more I find the idea beautiful.
There is something to say about a new year. There is something to say about reflecting on who you are and who you want to be. There is something tremendously appealing about starting fresh, about knowing that your past mistakes have been forgiven and redeemed.
This year, I have taken a lot of time reflecting on  my mistakes, but with that, reflecting on the idea of redemption. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. If there was a hand basket, I would be traveling straight to hell in it. But I have been redeemed by a God who said that I was worthy of redemption. Not worthy because of something that I have done, but worthy because of him. I am worthy because he see's the righteousness of Christ, not my basket full of mistakes.
I have always loved the sunrise. To me, it is the perfect picture of redemption. Each sunrise, is a fresh start. It is a new beginning of a new day where I no longer have to dwell on past mistakes. Because of redemption, I  can press forward with confidence because my mistakes are no longer counted against me.
This is why my feelings have changed about New Year's resolutions. Because of Christ, I can press forward in who he has made me, and who he is currently making me. I can press forward, because you and I were made with intrinsic value.
My New Year's resolution is this, to press forward in who Christ has made me. Because in that, I will find purpose. In that, I will discover that I have already been made whole.